[Start at the beginning of the novel: Prologue.]
[Go to the Table of Contents.]
Welcome back to Ship of Fools, my satire about a science journalist trying to make sense of conspiracy theorists, flat-earthers, moon-landing deniers, New Agers, and more. And here’s an apology for the editing error in the intro of last Sunday’s chapter. I fixed it right away on the website version, but that didn’t help for those of you receiving this newsletter by email. I promise that the copyeditor here at Glass Half Full Publications received 1,000 lashes with a wet noodle for his error.
Part V, Reckonings, opens with Slim discovering what’s on the other side of the portal he stepped into.
IT DID feel like a giant leap. One second Slim was standing in a crater on the moon, the next he felt like he was floating in some sort of blue, shimmering space, another door a few…feet? inches? miles?…ahead. Just the vaguest hint of another passage off to the right. But he had no choice in the matter of direction, and in the next second he was through the portal and felt like he was falling toward Earth, which looked much closer now, more like the old pictures from the ISS. If his stomach hadn’t been empty, the attack having taken place just before his usual late-night snack, he was sure he would’ve hurled all over the inside of his helmet by now.
Instead, his body slowly got its bearings and he realized he was standing on something solid — solid, but transparent, like glass or crystal, which only added to the vertigo — and about ten feet wide. Luddington was standing just a few steps ahead, also taking in his surroundings but oblivious to Slim’s presence. Beyond the Aussie, the surface or walkway curved ever so slightly into the far distance. Behind, it curved in the same direction as if to form a great circle, at the center of which was…
Some sort of glowing orb? Or maybe a lamp? Slim couldn’t quite make it out, but it was huge and bright, emitting a pale light like the moon’s, but unexpectedly cool, so cool that his suit’s heaters came on, a first for him, since the base had been in daylight during his entire stay. Usually his suit’s external thermometer read over 127 degrees, putting its cooling system to the test. Now it read zero degrees. Since the Europeans had won out in the Celsius vs. Fahrenheit debate, he had to convert that to 32, or freezing, in regular person degrees.
He turned back to the Earth below, but now he noticed some sort of semi-transparent curtain between him and the space outside the orb, a scrim with darker and lighter shading that looked like…well, the surface of the moon, but seen from the inside, and on a smaller scale. The structure he was standing on served to give it shape at what he guessed would be the orb’s equator. Other transparent, curving ribs extended from pole to pole.
“What the hell?” Luddington said. So the radio still worked in this place. “That Earth is flat-out flat.”
Slim looked back at the planet below, fully taking it in for the first time. The Kid was right. There was no ball-like curve. It was more like a disk. The continents and oceans seemed about right, except it was like looking down on a map, one of those with the North Pole at the center, and everything getting squashed and elongated out toward the edges, with Antarctica nothing but a smear of white around the rim. What he could see of it, at least. Part of the planet was lit by a bright light source off to his left and outside the orb he was standing in — the sun, had to be, but why was it so close? — and part was in deep shadow, illuminated only by the pale light of the lamp behind him.
“Gee whiz, Kid, you’re right,” Slim said.
Luddington turned toward him. “You came through! I didn’t think you would, to be honest.”
“Will you come along peaceable-like now?”
“We’re in the midst of one of the most momentous discoveries anyone’s ever made, and you want to go back?”
“It won’t be such a momentous discovery if we run out of air in here. How much do you have left?”
Luddington’s eyes darted back and forth as he checked the readings on his heads-up display. “Quarter tank.”
“See what I mean?”
“Let’s at least take some images. People on Earth need to know this is here.”
“And then you’ll come along quiet?”
“Sure. I don’t have any problem with that. I never really expected we’d get away, but being arrested works out almost as well. At the trial I’ll spread the CAOS message like never before. And when people hear about this! It’s just one more reason to leave space alone.”
They spent a few minutes taking photos and video of the orb and the planet below. While they worked, Slim tried radioing the base, with no luck. When he switched channels again, Luddington was saying, “and the flat-earthers were right, in a way!”
“Flat-earthers? I remember hearin’ somethin’ about ’em, but I don’t pay the Internet or that YouTube foolishness no mind.”
“They believe the Earth is flat, obvs. But to believe that, they also have to believe a bunch of other crazy stuff, like the sun and moon are just lamps going around in circles three thousand miles above the surface.”
“That doesn’t make any sense at all.”
“I know, but here we are! It’s like a magic lantern of the moon.”
“It’s a good thing we didn’t end up on that sun then. Could get a mite hot.”
Luddington pointed at the flat Earth below them. “It’s crazy, but there’s no denying what we’re seeing, right?”
“It does seem unnatural. Like, this couldn’t have just evolved, but someone musta built it.”
“I think you’re right, Slim. But the question is, who? And if someone built this world, then it’s likely that someone built ours, too.”
Slim had never given much thought to questions of a Creator, since natural processes were so plentifully apparent in the parts of the Earth he’d frequented. But now he wished Shorty was here to help him sort it all out.
Faced with that conundrum, and seeing no way to find an answer by staying longer, he opined it was time to head back.
“I think we should try to walk around it,” Luddington replied.
Slim eyed the curving walkway stretching into the distance, where it disappeared in the glare of the moon lamp. “It looks mighty far.”
“Distances could be deceptive out here. Let’s give it a look.” He took a few steps away.
“I don’t know much about geometry, but the less it curves the bigger the circle, right? We don’t need to walk anywhere to tell it’s too far.”
Luddington broke into a run. “Come on, just a little ways.”
Slim followed, noticing for the first time that gravity on this alternate moon seemed very Earth-like. “Kid, stop!” This running wasn’t doing their air supply any good.
Luddington kept going, and he was surprisingly fast. With an effort, Slim caught up and reached for his shoulder, but Luddington shrugged it off, opening a gap. Slim closed with him once more and tackled him. They sprawled in a heap, sliding on the smooth surface. The Kid struggled for a moment, then seemed to relent. But when Slim relaxed his grip to stand up, the Aussie lunged to his feet and headed off again, once more shrugging out of Slim’s grasp. These space gloves weren’t helping with his grip.
Once more Slim caught up to his quarry and once more tackled him, this time sliding right to the edge of the walkway, Luddington’s head and one arm dangling into space.
“Say, I just thought of something,” Slim said between panting breaths. “Gravity seems to work different here, like it’s pulling us right down towards that Earth, not toward the center of this here moon lamp.”
“Yeah?”
“So I wonder what would happen if one of us was to fall off of here? Probably bounce off one of them glass ribs, or whatever this moon’s surface is made out of, maybe even punch right through and fall all the way down to Earth. Either way, the prospects ain’t good.”
“Yeah?”
“And if gravity is pulling us straight down to Earth, what’s keeping this moon up here?”
“Good question.”
Slim relaxed his grip on his quarry. “So why don’t we knock off this chase foolishness and try to find out?”
“Okay, you’re right.”
When they were back on their feet, Slim eying Luddington for any more attempts at escape, the Kid scanned the top of the orb, shading his eyes from the bright light at the center.
“I think I see some sort of cable or tether where all the glass ribs meet at the pole.”
Slim looked too, adjusting his visor’s shading to dim the bright light. He could just see the hint of a straight line extending upward into the blackness. “I see it. But what’s it attached to?”
“The Flat Earth model claims the stars are just bright dots on a giant dome that encloses the Earth, the ‘dome of the firmament’ they call it. Maybe it’s attached to the dome somehow.”
“What, and it runs around on some sort of track?”
“Maybe, who knows?”
“Whole thing sounds crazy to me. But look, we used up a lot of air with that foolishness. Will you come along quiet, or do I have to calf-rope you?”
Luddington agreed, and they headed back to the portal, the Aussie going through first. On the other side, he was as good as his word, not putting up any fight as they walked back toward the crater’s rim and hop-scrambled up it.
“A portal to another world!” Luddington mused as they approached Slim’s ATV. “Wait till the people back on Earth hear about this! If there was ever a reason to stop mucking about with the moon, this is it.”
That prompted Slim to reach over and unplug the radio pack from the back of Luddington’s suit. Handy feature, that. Deciding how to let the world know about their discovery was way above his pay grade, but neither did he want Luddington making that choice. Whatever they’d just experienced, it was big, and it would have to be handled carefully.
He opened a private channel to Rogersson as they approached the quad.
“Chief, we’re back.”
“Back from where? Your transponder disappeared off the grid half an hour ago. I just sent another team out to find you.”
“I’m not sure you’d believe me if’n I told you.”
Rogersson paused. “Slim, are you saying you found something strange out there?”
“Chief, that would be like calling a rocket explosion an…what’s that word you use?…oh yeah, an anomaly.”
“Rapid Unscheduled Disassembly, but I take your meaning. Come straight in, and talk to no one. I’ll meet you at the air lock. You’ll be reporting directly to Mr. Ester.”
Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this chapter, please give it a like, a share, a restack, or a comment. And if you really enjoyed it, I hope you’ll buy me a coffee or upgrade to a paid subscription.
What will Lonnie Ester do with Slim and Luddington’s blockbuster discovery? Will he somehow turn it to his own profit?
Next up: Chapter 45, “Fucking Weird,” (or “Effing Weird” in the Substack subhead for email and search purposes). Liz adapts to life on a flat planet while trying to avoid a lengthy debriefing by Jareth and his science and technology team.
Oh! I didn't see that coming! 😂